


So This Is Love

by floatingpetals



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 03:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13802319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingpetals/pseuds/floatingpetals
Summary: Tumblr Request: “Can I have a story based on So This Is Love from Cinderella with Bucky? Where neither him nor his girlfriend ever thought they would find love because of awful things they did for hydra but they do finally with each other? Thank you so much doll!”





	So This Is Love

Sunlight peaked through a crack in the heavy curtains, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Clothes were thrown about the room, and the comforter of the bed laid in a pile on the floor. A content sigh echoed in the silence, a soft rustle of sheets the only other sound being made.

Bucky blinked the sleep away from his eyes, humming softly at the lightweight draped across his chest. A smile spread across his face as he looked down at the woman that was sleeping soundly. Her hair was fanned out, a few of the strands covering her face. Gently, he lifted his metal arm and brushed the stray strands out of his way. He traced a metal finger down her cheek, his heart swelling in his chest when she mumbled in her sleep and turned into his touch. She didn’t flinch from the cool touch, she never had. Bucky leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his grip around her waist tightening. As he laid in bed wrapped up with the woman he had come to love so fiercely, he thought over the past year and a half of their relationship.

 

> **So this is love, Mmmmmm**
> 
> **So this is love**
> 
> **So this is what makes life divine**

He remembered the day they first met; Fury had brought her in battered and bruised, and looking devoid of any emotions. He knew that look, the thousand yard stare. It was the same look that he saw staring back at him the mirror. He still struggled the day to day, memories of his past right at the forefront of his mind, and now here he was. Staring at someone who was in the same situation as himself.

It took her days to come out of her room, and even longer for her to speak to them. The team didn’t hover, allowing her all the time that she might need to acclimate to the compound. No one knew where she came from, or what her past was. Bucky had an idea, but he never brought it up. It wasn’t his demons to spill.

He remembered the first night he heard her screams through her door as he passed to the kitchen. He couldn’t sleep that night, his nightmares heavily influencing his sleep. Bucky didn’t think as he swung the door to her room open. Y/N lay thrashing in her bed, sweating matting her hair to her forehead. She whimpered out pleas, begging whoever was there in the dream with her to stop. She didn’t want this, don’t put her in the chair. Bucky’s throat tightened at her words. He knew that mantra, himself waking every night repeating the same thing. He gingerly touched her shoulder, whispering her name in the darkness. Y/N reacted on instinct, grabbing his hand and twisting it in a steel grip. She flung him over her shoulder, knocking the air from Bucky’s lungs when he found himself on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She had pinned both his arm’s down with her legs on either side of his chest, a knife pressed against his throat hissing at him in Russian.

Bucky froze, not from the blade or the words she snarled, but her glazed over terror-stricken eyes. She didn’t seem to notice who he was at first, her only thought at protecting herself. Bucky whispered her name, reassuring her she was safe. And then fear morphed to horror. She scrambled off his chest, falling off the bed in the process. She kept repeating over and over again how sorry she was, she didn’t want to hurt him. She didn’t mean to. Bucky understood, he knew her fears. They were one in the same.

Y/N curled up, pulling her legs into her chest as she gripped her head. She couldn’t believe this happened, she almost hurt one of the members who had promised to protect her. Bucky kept speaking to her softly, his low timber relaxing and soothing to the shaking woman.

That night was the first night he slept by her side, have convinced her that it was okay. He knew just what she was scared of, he would be there for her through it all. He pulled her back to the bed and asked if she wanted to talk which she denied. It wasn’t the last night they slept beside the other; One would wordlessly make their way to the others room at night when the nightmares took over. They took comfort in each other presence, sleep came easier when they were together. It still didn’t stop them from having the nightmares, but it did help knowing there was someone there to comfort the other when the time came. If the other members noticed how the two emerged from the same room in the mornings, they never spoke about it to either of the two.

Bucky remembered the first time she told him of her past. The two had been left behind on a mission, Y/N not ready to go back on the field, and Bucky refused to leave her alone. They sat on the couch in the living room, watching Back to the Future Part II. Y/N positioned herself on the right side of the couch with her feet propped up in Bucky’s lap. He had been rubbing her shins unconsciously with his flesh hand, completely absorbed in the movie. Bucky missed entirely how her eyes moved over to his face, taking in his features. Before she could even process things, she had asked Bucky about his time with Hydra. The man tensed instantly, his face swerving around to look at her with wide eyes. His grip on her shins tightened, his mind trying to catch up on her thought process. It took him a few seconds to find the right words, her desperate expression tugging at something inside him.

He hadn’t talked in depth about his past before, only Steve knew bits of what he had gone through. He only told her small bits, the memory still too fresh. Her eyes never left his, except when he reluctantly spoke of his arm. He had his metal hand tucked it under him. Y/N never missed how he refused to touch her with it. She knew he was terrified of somehow hurting her. He froze when she scooted forward, her fingers tracing the steel plates. She stayed silent, her face devoid of any emotions. Bucky shuttered when she brushed against the skin that connected with his arm, the pads of her fingers feather light on the scars. Her brows furrowed, and she looked up Bucky with a sad smile. His throat tightened. Her smile wasn’t in pity.

Y/N confided in him of the horrors she had done, the things that Hydra had made her do. She couldn’t remember her past, she didn’t know her family. All she knew of was the steel table they would put her on, the familiar weight of a gun, the pain from the chair, and the screams of those she killed in cold blood. Hydra wiped her completely, removing everything that made her, her. All that was left was an empty shell that followed orders because she knew nothing else. Then Fury found her, he knew she wasn’t there by choice. He freed her, but it still didn’t change the past. Bucky listened to it all, his heart breaking at her tale. Her struggles were similar to his own, she knew firsthand what Hydra could do. She understood what it felt like to be a monster. He touched her with his arm for the first time that day, pulling her closer to his side. They said nothing else as the movie played on, finding once again comfort in the other’s arms.

 

> **I’m all aglow, Mmmmmm**
> 
> **And now I know**
> 
> **The key to all heaven is mine**

Bucky remembered the day the rest of the team found out. Natasha hadn’t meant to see that file, for once she wasn’t snooping. But she still came across it, researching for an upcoming mission. He remembers when Natasha walked into the living room, the file in hand. Her face was blank, but her eyes said everything as she looked at Y/N. Natasha wasn’t angry, she wasn’t sad for Y/N. She was simply hurt that Y/N never told them where she had come from.

Over the past few months, Y/N, Natasha, and Wanda had grown close to one another. The two women had taken Y/N under their wing, noticed how the younger was a bit out of her element with things. Both Wanda and Natasha treated her like she was their sister, the two fiercely protective of her. At first, Y/N had no interest in making friends. But Bucky convinced her it was for the best. He knew they both couldn’t keep hiding away with the demons. It helped Y/N step forward in life, having a friend watch over her. Like Steve did for him.

He watched in shock as Natasha tossed the file on the coffee table before she turned away, leaving Y/N standing with the bowl of popcorn in the middle of the room confused. When the eyes of the room looked at the name of the file, the bowl slipped from Y/N’s fingers. She dove for the table, but Steve beat her to it. She held the tears at first, but when he looked up at her, his face turning white, she couldn’t keep it in. Her past was out in the open, everyone would know the horrors she had done. She bolted from the room, an apology for being a monster tossed over her shoulder. Bucky told them to stay, that he would handle it.

That night he didn’t sleep beside her. He sat outside her locked door, promising her they didn’t think she was a monster. He was forced to listen to her whimpers through the door, her nightmares worse than they had been in months. He cried that night, knowing there was nothing to do, he couldn’t take away her pain. But also he cried because he knew he couldn’t do the same for himself. They would never truly be free of their demons.

He remembers her opening the door in the early morning and her wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He remembers the sobs that wracked through her body. They fell asleep on the floor for the rest of the morning, Y/N securely wrapped up in his arms. He remembers waking when the team slowly made their way down the hall, Natasha stepping up first. She didn’t try to pull Y/N from his arms as the woman woke. Y/N tensed, burring her face into Bucky’s neck, hiding the tears that began to form again. Instead, Natasha knelt down and ran a hand through Y/N’s hair, whispering apologies as she tried not to cry herself. She hadn’t meant to seem angry, Y/n wasn’t a monster. They all had their own demons that haunted them, they weren’t going to use hers against her.

One by one, the team came to her side, gently assuring her she was no monster, they would never think that. Steve was last to step up. He was so ashamed of his reaction, he needed to apologize. He wasn’t ready to read the words on the paper. When he looked up and saw her, all he saw his best friend Bucky staring back at him. He wasn’t disgusted, he never would be.

Steve was the only one who managed to pull her from Bucky, her arms reaching out blindly for the other soldier after his apology. Steve stood with Y/N in his arms, motioning for Bucky to follow him back into her room. He gently placed her on the bed, telling her she needed to rest properly. Bucky took the cue to lay out beside Y/N wrapping her up in his arms. Steve left the two in the room, promising them they’d have to the day free. That was the same day Bucky realized that Y/N meant something more to him than just a friend. It was also the day that Steve saw it too.

He remembers the dynamics changing in the team after that night. At first, they acted as if she would break. But after two days of the tension Y/N snapped. She didn’t want to be coddled. Bucky smiled when she all but screamed at Tony. He knew that feeling too. When he first returned, everyone was walking on eggshells around him. It annoyed him to no end, but unlike Y/N, he had no one to help him find his voice. Since her outburst, everyone began treating her like they had before. Bucky learned that sometimes it was okay to act on an emotion, that he could express his likes and dislikes without fear of rejection. He also learned he loved the fire behind her eyes every time she would step out of her shell.

 

> **My heart has wings, Mmmmmm**
> 
> **And I can fly**
> 
> **I’ll touch ev'ry star in the sky**

Bucky remembered the day they had their first date. Natasha and Steve were tired of sitting around and watching the two of them flirt with the other. They set up them both up, and now looking back Bucky was surprised how they both missed it. Steve and Natasha said they would meet the two of them at the team's favorite bistro down the street, told them both to dress in something nice. After twenty minutes of the two realizing the others weren’t going to show, Bucky and Y/N found themselves sitting across from each other, debating on whether or not they should stay. It was then that they realized they never spent time alone together outside of the compound.

Bucky remembers how nervous he was, how nervous Y/N was too. Something in him clicked, and he decided they should stay. The two of them were dressed up, why not turn this into a date. They spent the rest of the day walking around the city, getting ice cream to share, and watching people in the park. By the time they were done, the sun had begun to set and they were both exhausted.

Bucky had walked her back to her room, his heart lighter than it had been in weeks. He couldn’t help but notice the small things about her, the way the light hit her eyes or the way her smile made his heart pound in his chest. He was reluctant to leave to her, despite knowing they would somehow make their way back to their rooms later that night. She had whispered a goodnight to him, just as reluctant as he was to leave his side. She stepped forward to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug that he returned. He remembers how well she fit against him, how her smell was intoxicating. That was the first night he kissed her, the same night he realized he never wanted to leave her side.

The next year was a wonderful blur, filled with memories he never thought he would have. Y/N filled a void in his life, and even though he never felt he deserved her, he was grateful for the chance to prove himself. He didn’t feel like he earned the right to call her his, and she felt the same when it came to Bucky. But their stubborn streaks wanted to prove the other wrong. Bucky’s past shouldn’t define whether or not he was good enough for her, just as he argued Y/N’s past wasn’t in charge of her future happiness.

He remembered their first dance, the first time they had sex, the first time he told her he loved her and when she told him she did too. He never thought his story would turn into this, he always figured he would grow old and alone. After last night, he knew it wasn’t going to end that way. The nerves he had felt were new, and he wasn’t sure he liked them. They were different than other times, nervous butterflies erupting every time he thought over his plans.

Steve had assured him this was right, that he deserved the happiness Y/N brought. When Bucky saw her walk into the elegant restaurant, dressed to the nines in a floor length gown, Bucky felt a calm settle over him. It took nearly three years since he was freed of Hydra to discover this, but despite what happened in his past, he could have a happy ending. They both could. He had barely asked the question, his knee had only touched the floor for a split second before she flung herself at him, chanting yes into his chest.

Bucky found himself unable to look away from Y/N as she slept against his chest, a serene glow surrounding her. He wished that he never had to leave this room, that he could stay snuggled up with her forever. While this moment might not last, he knew that he’d have many more mornings where he could enjoy the view.

“I’ve told you how creepy it is when you watch me sleep, right?” Y/N slurred her words against his chest, sleep still heavy in her speech. Bucky chuckled, letting her go just enough to allow her to stretch against his body. She made a noise in content, draping herself further on his chest.

“Good morning.” His voice rumbled on through his chest, pulling a giggle from Y/N. She whispered a soft good morning as she leaned up to press a tender kiss on his lips. Bucky tried to extend the kiss needing to feel more of her. But Y/N pulled away, making a face.

“Gross, morning breath.” She teased. Bucky laughed as he flipped the two of them over, his legs wedged between hers.

“You never complained before.”

“Yes, but that was before I realized I’d have to spend the rest of my life waking up to it.” Bucky pulled back in mock disbelief.

“Don’t tell me you’re reconsidering things!”

“Never.” Y/N giggled, reaching up with her left hand to cup his face. Bucky still smiled widely as he pressed a sweet kiss to her palm. He turned her hand over, eyeing the sparkling ring on her finger. His turned back to her face, his breath catching in his throat at her captivating smile. She gazed up at him as if he hung the moon, and he was sure he was looking down at her like she was his whole world.

 

> **So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of**
> 
> **Mmmmmm**
> 
> **Mmmmmm**
> 
> **So this is love**

He never thought he earned the right to be happy, not with the red that once covered his hands. Y/N never thought she’d find someone like her who loved her, despite all the evil she had done. Both were more than delighted to learn how wrong they were. 

Bucky dipped his head down, his eyes never leaving hers as he brushed his lips against her softer ones.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
